i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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