By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
