If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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