it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize