someone get that fucking seahorse.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
These tits shall not be calmed
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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