Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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