I bet he comes in French.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
