I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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