Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
