you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
