Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
