he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
