i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
