you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
