The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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