Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize