also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
