Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
