i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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