Already got asked if we're dating
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
