And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize