Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize