So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize