I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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