I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
