Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize