So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
