Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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