So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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