I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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