That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize