I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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