i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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