I just made out with a guy for $7.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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