i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
