Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
