Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
