As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
