Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
