just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
