I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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