the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
