wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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