It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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