The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
two words: eviction party
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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