I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
