wat bout pragnant strippers??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We got so high we made milksteak
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize