I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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