please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
