just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
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