Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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