i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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