Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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