Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
