Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need water and some morals
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
