You made me cry and you don't even care
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
