Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
