What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
