Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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