It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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