its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
