It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
