Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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