i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
